The second part of my week was good also. I spoke with some far away friends (always pleasant), and I had a new friend to my home for dinner.
And I got to tell her about my vocation journey. It is so nice to have someone here, in my new community, with whom I can share this story. As you might notice, dear reader, this blog is anonymous... that is for the protection of my current status, my current job, and so most of the people I see on a day to day basis have no idea about the call that resides in my heart and soul at this point in time. But now, one more of my dear new friends shares my "secret."
I really wish the secrecy was not necessary, and I long for the day when I can shout from the rooftops the joy that is in my heart! I'm in love! And I am "going to live in God's house" - the house of my Love - just as soon as I can!
I think that is inspired by St. Valentine's Day.
"Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come!"
--Song 2:10
2 comments:
I feel the exact same way. Although I am still unsure (or, rather, fighting with God over the issue of how I am to live my life!), I hate the fact that I can't share my thoughts and feelings with all those around me. I don't like hiding that part of me because it's an important part of me, my being, a part of my life journey, and something that only seems to be growing in importance!
I can't look at guys in the same way as I used to... I mean, of course I still look, but I don't feel the need to do anything or go any further than that. Maybe I am ever so slowly growing "in love" and accepting this "possible" invitation? Although, I cannot openly and easily admit that as beautifully as you do.
Thank you for sharing your discernment and God bless you on your journey. :)
Em -xxx-
P.S. I came across your blog via SistersBloggers. Hope you don't mind me commenting. ;)
Dear Em,
Thanks for your comments--they always welcome! It is always helpful to know that someone else is having a similar struggle. (That was actually part of my thought on the blog--here I can remain anonymous, but still express the thoughts I have about religious life, in the hopes that others might have them too!)
In a way, keeping some things to myself is also about protecting my vocation. I know that many people in our society today just don't understand, and until I am ready to really defend my choices, I want to keep them to myself. But my real reason has to do with keeping my job, since those I work with are Catholic and probably do understand religious life!
Oh, yes, the guys. I have many male friends. The beauty of knowing that I will not be seeking anything more than friendship is that I can be closer to them than I might otherwise be. At least for those friends who know that I am discerning a vocation. Not sure that makes sense, but there it is!
God bless,
SD
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