This weekend.

I spent the weekend with the RSCJ community in Houston--and had a wonderful time.

One of the challenges over the last few months has been the separation from the community. I know I will be entering the Society this summer, but right now I live far away from the sisters. The weekend with them was just what I needed, a little reminder of why this is so important to me.

Thank you!

The busiest time of year

It's the end of another semester, which is always such a busy time for university people. I have two classes left to teach, and one class that will have a party on the last day (fun!). To add to the fun, I'll present a paper at a conference in about a week and a half, and then the week after that is graduation. And of course, my students will be submitting final projects next week. Wow.

But for now, a little break. Since I have been teaching Monday and Tuesday nights all semester, Wednesdays have been pretty quiet. I have some work to do, but it's not very pressing.

Life is moving along. I'm looking forward to summer plans. The contents of my apartment are slowly being given away, and almost everything will go by the third week of June. There's a sister nearby from a different order who is moving into her own apartment, and she's going to raid my kitchen supplies. Some of my furniture is going to my brother, and the rest will be sold or given away to Catholic Charities. It all seems pretty complicated, but I'm glad it's working out.

All in all, things are simply moving along.

Holy Week and Easter

Jesus is Risen! Alleluia!

I love Holy Week and Easter, but it always throws me off track a bit. Part of it is simply the different schedule. Since I sing in the church choir, I'm there for everything, usually including Wednesday evening practice. I love all of the services, but there doesn't seem to be enough time to do them all and to get a full night's sleep.

But part of the reason I find the season difficult is all the emotions. On Thursday, we celebrate ministry, and this year I found myself reflecting on the great value of each individual's contribution. The whole of humanity was present Thursday, represented by the twelve who came up for the footwashing, male and female, old and young, of different nationalities. All had their feet washed by the priest. It was beautiful.




On Good Friday, we see the starkness of death, of loss, of the pain and suffering of Jesus. We also do the extended general intercessions, where we pray for people of all backgrounds throughout the world. We are reminded that Jesus suffered and died for each of us, but that there is still suffering all around. It is a painful day, a black day--and in fact, they used to wear black vestments on Good Friday. I'm glad that's not the practice any more.

Holy Saturday is just a weird day. Jesus is in the tomb--what do we do? Traditionally, this is the day we believe that he "harrowed hell," and released from death those who were holy, and brought them to heaven. It is a day of silence, and (since we know something big is coming) of preparation.



And then there is the joy of the Easter celebration. The Easter Vigil lies between, connecting the sorrow of death with the joy of the Resurrection. The rituals march us through the transition -- from darkness into light, from the Old Testament into the Gospel, from silence into joyful song with bells and organ. The Exsultet, sung at the beginning prepares us for what is to come:

Rejoice, heavenly powers!
Sing, choirs of angels!
Exult, all creation around God's throne!
Jesus Christ, our King, is risen!
Sound the trumpet of salvation!

It makes me grin -- and cry -- every time. The joy is so palpable!



Images: www.godweb.org, www.ibiblio.org, www.southsidebaptistgriffin.com

"How Did He Open Your Eyes?"

The Gospel reading for today really struck a chord with me. (We used the "Year A" option, for there were Catechumens and Candidates with us.) The reading was John 9:1-41, the healing of the man blind from birth.

The part that caught my attention especially was when the Pharisees were questioning the healed man about how he was healed, doubting his answers and asking him repeatedly. They ask, "How did he open your eyes?"

I find myself asked often "How did you decide to enter a religious order?"

I can relate to the answer of the healed man (one of several answers he has to give the persistent Pharisees): "One thing I know is that I was blind and now I see."

How did I decide to enter a religious order? I don't really know. I just know that one day Jesus opened my eyes to see that this is the path he wishes me to take. In a lot of ways, I don't see it as my decision at all, even though (of course) I did freely choose it, and I know I am free to choose another path.

I can give all sorts of little answers to the question--about how I'm a theologian, so Catholicism is really important to me; that I have a desire to grow spiritually and to serve others; that I am attracted to this particular group of sisters because of their combination of contemplation and apostolic ministry, as well as their educational focus....

But none of these answers is nearly as strong in my mind as that gentle tug that I feel from Jesus to love Him with my whole being, and to give myself to this way of living Love.

So Much to Do

I feel like I've been neglecting this humble blog! It's certainly not intentional, but there just seems to be so much that must get done!

That said, all is well. My spiritual director spoke with me about contentment this week. He has great reflections on that word, and I hope he writes about it soon. We talked about how being content with your life (with all the content of your world, self, mind, etc) makes everything seem right, and enables you to follow God's call.

I realized that I am quite content. Yes, there is a lot to do. Yes, my world is changing very drastically, and very soon. But I'm content. I like what's going on, and I know God is with me, leading me on this mysterious journey. I'm happy, but it's that happiness of contentment--of satisfaction with my life and world.

On another note, I've been receiving some wonderful email notes from sisters who've heard that I will be entering the Society. They are often words of encouragement and joy. Most have a few words of advice. The best message I've received is a reminder that God is always faithful, and that if I trust in God, all will be well.

I'm content, happy!

Image from www.strobertparish.org

So, what's next?

Things are starting to settle down from my big YES that you can read about in the last post.

So it's time to ask, what happens now?

For now, I stay where I am until the summer. I will move at the beginning of August. For a year, I will be in what's called "Candidacy," which is what used to be called "postulancy" (and still is in some religious orders). I will live in a house with a community of sisters and work full time in a ministry that's consistent with the mission of the Society.

For me, that means teaching in a university. For other people who enter religious life, their work has to change--and sometimes it changes very dramatically. In my case, I already teach theology at a Catholic institution, so what I do is already consistent with religious life. In the future, my ministry might change, but for now this is where I'm being called.

There are also many variations on housing in today's religious orders. The Society of the Sacred Heart usually lives in smaller communities of 4-7 sisters. Their houses are normal houses in normal neighborhoods. I really like this way of living (at least as an outsider looking in!). It includes shared responsibilities and space, but it seems a little more intimate than a big convent might be. I know that community life will be a challenge for me--I've lived alone for a long time--but I'm looking forward to it.

That's all for now!

The YES!

I have big news to share--the Society of the Sacred Heart accepted me to begin formation! I will enter the community as a Candidate beginning in August.

I am so thankful, so grateful, so humbled by this news. These women are amazing, and they have welcomed me into their lives, even to become one of their sisters. I am grateful to God for the calling, and grateful to the sisters for helping me to hear it and for hearing it with me.

There is (of course) much more in my heart, but I will end with a quote from St. Madeleine Sophie Barat, which I offer as a prayer for each of us:

"Give up all self-seeking and leave space for the Spirit of Jesus. Once this process is complete, everything goes like a vessel powered by steam: it is the breath of the Spirit that moves everything along."

Amen!

Image from cuorhome.net